The Kansas City Divorce Attorneys at Fisher Law LLC, we know that divorce is never easy, and that even those who seek out the divorce often experience stress, sadness, or even depression. It is difficult to end any long-term relationship, especially if you share children. Unfortunately, many divorces are bitter and contentious, with fights and disagreements about everything from dividing up property and assets to who will have custody of the children. As experienced Kansas City divorce attorneys, we have a few tips and suggestions that may help you experience a more peaceful, amicable end to the relationship.
First of all, realize that in most situations, a divorce does not necessarily mean that you have to end the relationship with your spouse and become enemies for life – but it does mean you must have a different type of relationship. You may be good friends eventually, but don’t push it immediately following a divorce. Give yourself space and time; you need a transition period to settle into your new life as a single person.
When possible, an uncontested divorce is usually the least stressful for everyone involved, and less emotionally damaging to any children involved. In many cases, those who pursue an uncontested divorce are able to work out all of the details such as child custody, visitation, how property will be divided, and other matters through mediation. If you can agree on the terms and conditions, an uncontested divorce is usually the “friendliest” way to go about it, not that getting a divorce is ever really approached in a friendly manner – but it can be easier.
Let go – and know that you will survive. A divorce is a huge change in your life, and you must give yourself permission to let go. Make peace with the fact that your life is changing, and let your ex-spouse be him- or herself. Just as no one can change who you are, you cannot change who someone else is. Trust and know that you will be fine, regardless of what happens. It is important to set yourself free internally, so that you can move forward with your life in a positive way. It is also important for your children to see that both parents are okay, and that you have mutual respect for one another as parents. The worst possible thing you can do is to expose your children to fighting, arguing, name calling, and tension.
Write it all down. From the parenting plan to child support and alimony, write everything down, even if you don’t see eye to eye on every aspect of the divorce. It is important to have a comprehensive, written out plan as this helps the divorce process go forward more smoothly. If you and your soon-to-be ex have areas of disagreement (and most do), do your best to come up with reasonable solutions and how to resolve conflict that will be satisfactory to both parties.
Put the interests of the children first and foremost. Certainly, every parent wants to have primary custody of their children – but this simply isn’t possible. Instead of putting your own wishes first, put the interests and well-being of your children first. Would your children be better off living with you in terms of familiarity with the community, schools, comfortable surroundings, etc.? Or would it really be in their best interest to live with your ex-spouse, although deep down you resent it? Be honest with yourself, for your children’s sake. Children’s lives can be affected emotionally and psychologically, so put their interests first regardless of issues you may have with your spouse.
In most cases, divorce doesn’t have to be vengeful or ugly; you can move forward in a way that is positive and healthy for both yourself and your children. At Fisher Law LLC, we are on your side. Work with a Kansas City divorce attorney that will with you to obtain the results you desire.